November 1st, 2025 at 10:17pm, I got a text that said:
“Your Uncle died today.”
I reread it like my eyes were glitching. Like if I stared long enough the words would rearrange into something else. My uncle. Gone. Just… done. No more.
Death is like that sometimes. Sometimes you feel it approaching, & other times it’s spontaneous. It just drops into your life. And even though I wasn’t extremely close with my uncle, I started crying immediately.
Not just because he was gone… but because in that moment I felt myself coming face-to-face with something we all have to deal with eventually whether we want to think about it or not. The truth that we’re all going to die, and we’re all going to experience death through the people we love or they will experience the loss of our death.
And what’s wild is… it didn’t hit me all at once. Its been lingering. It has been unfolding every since. It’s gotten So loud so intense that it has forced me to come face to face with it.
It’s like death opened a door inside myself I didn’t realize was there… and behind it was this deeper awareness, this deep fear, this deep questioning.
I’ve been searching for answers i have been wrestling this fear I’ve been trying to find something that makes this make sense. Something that helps me breathe when my mind starts spiraling into that dark corner where everything feels fragile and temporary.
I’ve woken up in the middle of the night scared of my own death. Scared of the death of the people around me. Sometimes it hits me so hard it feels like death is just around the corner. Like it’s creeping closer. Like it’s coming to get me next.
This fear this coming face-to-face with the fact that I will die my own mortality, and the people around me will too has been a very deep spiritual humbling awakening for me.
It’s caused me to go deep its still something that i am actively working through. It’s caused me to challenge my views and perspectives surrounding death, also fears:
What if I go through life and don’t do anything meaningful?
What if I don’t achieve what I want to achieve?
What if I waste so much time living in fear fearing death that I forget to actually live?
What is the damn point if we die anyway?
How do I release myself from this panic?
Who am I if I’m not this body?
Where do we go?
Is it peaceful? Is it worse? Is it nothing?
How could I never again experience a beautiful sunset… hear the waves on the beach… listen to a beautiful piece of music… laugh with people I love?
What do I even believe about where we go?
How will I be when I am faced with death?
What will my last thoughts be?
What if I could get to a place where I don’t fear it, but welcome it?
Or at least… make peace with it?
Can I use this new perspective to live a more fearless life?
Because my mortality is starting to feel like an invitation not a curse. Like a reminder of the urgency of being here, right now. With full engagement in life. With devotion to the people I love. With less waiting, less postponing.
Waking up in the middle of the night with these intense fears and questions has been one of the most humbling experiences of my life And , it’s forced me to stop running.
So if you reading this & are facing the same i understand i see you truly Because death is unknown. And the unknown can feel terrifying. It can make you feel like the ground beneath you isn’t stable anymore.
I can also see how this fear can slowly chip away at someone. Not all at once, but over time. It can start to erode your joy, your motivation, your ability to be present. It can make you second-guess everything. It can make you hold back from life because you’re so focused on protecting yourself from the inevitable that you forget to actually live.
And that’s the part that scares me too… that this fear could convince someone to live a half-life. To stay small. To stay guarded. To stay stuck. To spend their days bracing for the end instead of being fully here.
That’s why I’m facing it. Because I don’t want fear to be the thing that decides how much of life I allow myself to experience.
So if you’ve made it this far, you might be asking yourself, “Okay… but how are you actually getting through this?”
And I’m really glad you’re asking that because I want to share what has genuinely been helping me move through it, moment by moment.
I found a phenomenal teacher and speaker who talks a lot about letting go letting go of fear in general.
I recently attended one of his workshops called “Letting Go of Death and Dying,” & it was such an amazing workshop that even gave me hope around dying, it gave me language for what I was feeling. It helped me work through some of the questions that have been looping in my mind around this topic, and gave me a more grounded perspective on how I’m currently viewing death, dying, and the intense fear that can come with it.
His name is Dillon Freed,
Dillon is a cognitive neuroscientist, entrepreneur, professor, and creator dedicated to helping people achieve emotional freedom and reach their maximum potential. Through his programs, research, and creative work, he explores the intersection of neuroscience, psychology, and human potential.
The way he speaks about fear how he responds to questions, how he breaks things down, and the insights he shares from his own personal experiences feels authentic and refreshing. He isn’t trying to “love and light” your fear away. He’s actually teaching you how to meet it head-on and gets into the “ugly” side of spirituality.
And I’ll be honest when I attended his first workshop, it was a little uncomfortable for me. He challenges a lot of the “spiritual BS” that people cling to, and I had to keep an open mind while listening. I’m really glad I did, because the more I stayed open, the more I realized his work was giving me something I really needed: a clearer way to look at fear, and a steadier place to stand while I work through it.
If you’re curious, you can join his community on Meetup, and you can also check out his website dillonfreed.com where he has a course focused on letting go. You can also watch the workshop “Letting Go of Death and Dying,” down below 👇
A quick note I’m not affiliated with him, and I’m not endorsed. Im not getting paid to promote his work. I’m just sharing because it’s helped me a lot and feel as though this could help someone else.
So I really hope you take a chance have a look, lean in, and keep an open mind. if you let yourself stay open, this could genuinely help you feel more grounded, more empowered, and more capable as you move through this messy, beautiful journey called life.
I’m not sure how long it’s going to take me personally to work through this fear. I don’t have a neat timeline for it. I’m still in it. Still learning how to hold it without letting it swallow me. But I can say this: this realization has pushed me deeper into what it means to be human.
It’s made me explore myself in a way I wasn’t doing before. It’s made me face parts of me I used to avoid. And it’s made me less afraid to talk about what I’m struggling with because the truth is, we all struggle. We’re all carrying something. We all have fears we don’t always admit out loud.
And isn’t it such a powerful thing when you meet someone on the journey who isn’t pretending? Someone who can say, “Yeah… I struggle with that too. I know what that feels like. You’re not alone.” That kind of honesty is healing. That kind of authenticity reminds you that you’re not broken you’re human because we really are all in this together.
And since this whole experience has sparked something deep in me. It’s given me a new goal: to change my perspective on death so I can walk more fearlessly through my life. Because life is fleeting. Time moves fast. And I’m going to die anyway so I might as well DO LIFE.
Do life. Live it. Create. Love people fully. Take the risk. Say the thing you keep holding back. Stop postponing what matters. Make an impact. Live on your own terms. Help others along the way.
So that when I meet my end whenever that is I can honestly say: I did my best. I lived boldly. And if I can make an impact in the life of even one person if something I share helps someone feel less alone, or a little more brave then I’ll know I truly lived.
Because when we leave this plane, we take nothing with us. No titles. No achievements. No possessions.
We leave with what we gave.
How we loved.
How we showed up.
And the ripple effect we created in the hearts of others.
So I’m curious…
Have you ever faced the fear of death or the fear of losing people you love?
If so what helped you work through it or what are you struggling with?
Have you already had experiences with death?
If you feel comfortable, share your experience in the comments. I think this could be a really powerful conversation to have, and I’d love to hear other perspectives.
With love,
Deeana
Rest in peace Uncle
Marcos Daniel “Dani” Miranda, of Cape Coral, Florida, passed away on November 1, 2025, at the age of 54. He was born in 1971 in Puerto Rico.
Dani was an exceptionally talented guitarist who composed and recorded his own music, leaving behind melodies that beautifully reflected his creative spirit and depth of feeling. He found joy and peace on the water, often spending time exploring on his jet ski beneath the Florida sun.
A lifelong seeker, Dani loved to explore spiritual and philosophical ideas and could spend hours in deep, meaningful conversations that inspired those around him. He had a wonderful sense of humor, a radiant presence, and a smile that could light up any room.
He is survived by his loving mother, Samia Rodriguez, and his devoted sister, Elizabeth Miranda.
Dani’s presence will be deeply missed, but his music, laughter, and light will continue to live on in the hearts of those who loved him.
Our death is our wedding with eternity.
Rumi
